After five years my daughter still asks me “what is the name of your awful thing”? She is referring to Trigeminal Neuralgia and it is awful, but it has changed my life in so many ways. My Neuralgia began in an atypical way, when a firework came back down from space and hit my eye. Many years, surgeries, 12 MRI’s and kooky neurologists later,,,,,I am alive. Different but alive. This disease pulled everything I knew out from under my feet. My job, friends, way of life–they all ended. But I feel like that nature show that describes what happens after a forest fire. The earth is charred, knotted and black and somehow a miracle happens and shoots of tender green struggle past the decay to find sunlight and fresh air. Slowly but surely life begins; it looks and acts differently but it is life and it is cherished.
I struggled for years hoping the surgeries and treatments would work and I have finally realized that I can still hope for this pain to subside but I must live FULLY in the meantime. I credit cognitive behavioral therapy, a great pain med doctor and the love and support of my family whose faces I see every time I want to quit.
I will not write often about the pain (part of CBT) but if anyone needs to chat about dealing with this, I will be happy to help.